I write this warning to all who want to know. An unspeakable horror is
coming to the Netherlands. A horror, an insanity so foul that it hurts and burns
people just to talk about IT, think about IT or just to look at IT. I write this warning to
others, not to walk the path I walk. I work my business in twilight, between victory and the defeat,
between the broken and the fixed. For behold I am a Tech, an ICT, cursed for live to repair broken
technology and cursed forever to roam in the Hardware Hell. Choose a diffent path, you waery reader
and heed my warning, instead become a farmer.
Behold the prophecy that for three days the gates of Hardware Hell shall be opened and its horrible contents shall be let loose on an unsuspecting and unprepared populous.
The name of this wretched and cursed Place?
Utrecht.... City of the Dom Cathedral. City that the Heavens shine upon, well, not for these three day...For three days the city of the Dom shall be cursed.
The Jaarbeurs.... where the Gates to Hardware Hell shall be opened on a friday of the eleventh month of every year.....
I write this warning to you non techs, not to dwell in Utrecht for three days.
Panic, run, flee thy cursed city and make room for this thing that is coming. Every thing has to have a name so the techs giveth it a name. The Techs call it H.C.C. Hobby Computer Club.
Almost sounds innocent, now doesn't it?
But is it...? Run, Run, Run,
For H.C.C. is coming and will make Utrecht all....... Open Source.
For three days Nerds, Techs, systemoperators, realers, dealers, Penguins, Devels, M$ and more horrible creatures ot the Tech world will be let loose from their captivity and slavery of work in the Hardware Hell and they'll be set forth to take over a place in Holland..... To roam free and cause fear and havoc among the populous.
Beware, for they have not seen a non digitized woman for months!
Beware, for they speak a speak unknown to you.... they speaked TECH!
Beware, for they shall mock the non tech!
Beware, for they will sell you things a non tech can't get to work!
Beware, for incredible tech bargains can be had here!
Beware, for the non tech shall not be spared!
Lock your doors, board up your windows, and stay away from Utrecht, city that will be cursed for three days. Stay away from the madness or in case you are a tech and you are reading this.
Embrace IT. Embrace the Madness
The Jaarbeurs, being the place for the Gates to the Hardware Hell, where the techno addicted roam free and speak
the unspeakable. Weird, strange techspeak! They speak of a Tech Magic, Sorcery, Wizardy, Conjury and the Might of OS!
And allthough they all work with and or use the Mighty OS there are differences. Some speaked of MicroSoft the Big, being
one of the biggest OS. Some speak of Linux with their Hero Tux, OS/2, CPM/86, BeOs Devels, or even Plain Dos.
They speak of, dir, DVD, copy, mkdir, Grep, dmesg, dosbox, console, fm, redo, TCP/IP, USB, udma, apt-get, Irda and other weird uncomprehencable words. They speaked of an enormous thing that can not be seen, can not be heard, can not be touched, yet they communicate with it some how, an enormous library and forum for the masses of techs called...
Beware, you unsuspecting traveller, for thou shalt perish in this realm of Hardware Hell.
They speaked of drives, cabling, vids, editing, midi, programs, casemodding and even burning their discs!
You may loose your money quickly in this here place.
Beware, you unlucky non tech that within this place you can and will get lost. There is no mercy here for the non tech. There is help to be found.... but batteries are not included. There are Sirens here.... Harpys of the OS luring you in, helping you but in fact they help you to drown yourself deeper and deeper into the Hardware Hell. Beware their ruby red lips, their soft warm voices and their inviting eyes and compellingy short skirts. For they will send you straight to the Heart of the Hardware Hell.
Three days so the prophecy goes, for three days the Gates shall open. Three the number of days shall be. And a three day maddness will flood the city. Techs will flock from all parts of the Netherlands and beyond.
As many of my fellow techs I am unable to fight the madness. Pity me, but you can not fight it.
Resistance is..... indeed.... futile.
The only way is to embrace the madness, to feel its warm red glow through every vein of your body. To feel every sense in your body start to tingle. To feel the anticipation that builds up for weeks until the Gates finally open. And the voices around you are many, for techs are legion. Where the non tech drowns inside the many the tech simply inhales and becomes one with all the others. You talk the talk and you walk the walk.
It is a port of call, a home away from home, the place to be. Where it is Hardware Hell to the non Tech it is Hardware Heaven for the Techie. Where else can you find people who share the same ideas, who talks the talk, who walk though the Hardware Hell without fear?
Copyright © Tom A.H. Piel
All rights reserved